Wednesday, 9 November 2011

yesterday i went to oxford with a uni friend, and it was a grey day & a busy day where my unfortunate lack of bus-related courage had me walking the entire length of the city in the dark. it is so easy to be taken in by all the pomp & circumstance of the colleges - but as hector says, "i was confusing learning with the smell of cold stone". i got lonely after my friend left and i think that st andrews is actually a better place to be lonely - at least for me. you'd think that the smaller the town the lonelier you'd feel, but i've never found that. in fact i am the least lonely amongst the trees or beside the sea, when there are no other people at all. that is when i miss him least. sometimes i think i stop missing him completely.
relationships are such funny things. you can listen to one motivational song that tells you to do one thing, and then it is immediately followed by another telling you to do something completely different - and they are both best selling, and you believe them both. and now i am home, and angry, and sad, and potentially making very bad decisions.
fortunately i'm going to see bon iver tonight. so. there's always that.


  1. Oh, I have always thought that going to Oxford would be a lovely experience - one of the loveliest, surely. But I see what you mean about the loneliness. I hope you don't make too many bad decisions, and also, enjoy Bon Iver. (I stopped listening to Bon Iver a long time ago, because their music makes me too sad. I mean, unbearably sad.)

  2. Oh, I miss Oxford so much. I just love being there ^^ I know what you're talking about, especially with those songs. Bon Iver can make you feel real good though, saw them two weeks ago and it sure was something I'll never forget, goosebumps the entire time, have fun!

  3. Hector is right, of course. But Oxford is very beautiful. I think it's that old thing of feeling lonelier in crowds than on your own, you know? That's what I get, anyway.
    Oh gosh! I'm so envious of your seeing Bon Iver. Enjoy. xxx

  4. Sometimes I think I'd go to a university just because I liked the look of it. Oxford officially falls in that category!

    Oh, I am so sorry, dear Holly. I hope your decision-making skills balance out. I think what is best for someone to do is so specific for every person, which is why motivational songs/books/whatever just have to be ignored sometimes. <3

  5. these photos on Oxford are really beautiful!

  6. I love your blog so much and your photography and your words. I have added a link to this wonderful place in my blog along with other blogs I read each day. I hope you don't mind !

    Sends you tender hugs,
    Lili xx

  7. I dream of going to Oxford one day, and most importantly, exploring its library. I hope you enjoyed Bon Ivor. Hes meant to be coming to my state in Australia, but I'm not old enough to go :(

    xx Carina

  8. I feel the same in that I feel more alone in London than I do in the countryside..strange. I hope you don't make any bad decisions.
    Oxford is still very pretty. Oh and I was happy to see you're taken part in the treasure swap, I'm really looking forward to getting little bits and pieces together! xo

  9. Yes, I did draw the portrait. Thank you so much for your kind words. How was the Bon iver show? xxxx

  10. it feels great to be reading you again, darling! the pictures are truly wonderful! xx

  11. I think your soul and mine should meet.
    Their similar to one another...

    what a world..

    hugs (^.^) hope to hear from you *

  12. thanks for your kind comment! your pictures make me miss england. i lived there at one point. so dewy and fresh. keep them coming! xx

  13. These photos are so gorgeous. I would love to visit Oxford one day.
    Thank you for your kind comment, you are lovely :)